I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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