The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
