its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize