dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize