To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
