we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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