i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
