Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
