Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
