It's like God shit irony all over that family
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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