just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
