He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
