i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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