masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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