The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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