would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
