He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
