Pappa wants mamma naked
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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