I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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