Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
