your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize