Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
