I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
