I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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