I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
