Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
