do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
