like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
