i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
