How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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