I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
