Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
