They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
