Cold hands, warm shart.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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