Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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