all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
