i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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