Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize