This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
