Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
