You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize