Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
