I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
