is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
