all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
