and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
