I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
