just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
