My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
