Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
MIDGETS
????
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
