Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize