kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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