DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
