***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
