I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
