Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
