I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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