You're my little dorito
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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