We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
