living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
