hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
