Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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