i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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