I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
